farewell

So, this is the final goodbye to this blog. Please please please check out my new one here.

one last time

I guess this is the goodbye to this blog. I haven't been too happy about posting here for quite a while, but only now it feels like I really want to start something new. I'm dragging all of my past with me at the moment, and it felt as if I'd never grow older here. Hard to explain, actually. I haven't found a new blogging-home yet, though I really love being on tumblr. You can check mine out here.

Farewell to all of you, and I hope to see you soon somewhere else! (I'll post my new address here soon.)

I write like

I write like
Chuck Palahniuk

I Write Like by Mémoires, journal software. Analyze your writing!

Peter Handke

Took these tests today, once in German and once in English, and these are the results. Am not sure if I am happy or not. What do you think?

Find a map

I'm scared today.

Don't you understand? The world is scrumbling beneath my feet.

Changed

There is something inside of me that has changed. I can feel it.

Things I used to be: scared sarcastic selfish sad. Slytherin. I used to plot every day of my life, every minute of it. I was mean to others. I hurt people's feelings even though they won't admit it. I only cared about myself. I only thought about myself. I was a self-centered, sniveling whatever.

Things I have become: Hufflepuff and House Stark. Nicer (I hope). I do stuff for people, like seminar papers. Without charging. I don't think so much anymore, things just happen to me and I have no control. I can accept it. I help.

I really hope this change is true, and it is not only something I want myself to see. Because when I see myself now, I am proud (not of my looks, but what's beyond). Sorry for this post.

Half of my heart

There is something that I have to say that I haven't in a long time. And I am not sure if I knew it before, but it just really hit me. These words there at the start of the post, I can relate to them. I do understand missing someone.

But on the other hand, there is something different. A part of my heart feels cold and lifeless, ever since someone stamped on it with both feet. When it stopped hurting, I never went back again, I never put myself into that part anymore. It is nice not to feel pain so much. It is nice not to feel helpless in relationships anymore. It is nice not to care sometimes.

Because this is what I feel. I love, with my whole being, but I will never again be hurt like I have been. A part of me will never care again.

And I am not sure if that is good.

Images here and here.

A Human Heart

 “I’ve always agreed with William Faulkner—he said that the human heart in conflict with itself is the only thing worth writing about. I’ve always taken that as my guiding principle, and the rest is just set dressing. I mean, you can have a dragon, you can have a science fiction story set on a distant planet with aliens and starships, you can have a western about a gunslinger, or a mystery novel about a private eye, or even literary fiction—and ultimately you’re still writing about the human heart in conflict with itself.”

- George R.R. Martin [x]